I've been working an opening shift at a Café job for a few months, which means I'm up at 5.30. ...AM. not PM. I haven't quite managed to really adjust my schedule yet, so I'm still going to bed at 10/11/12pm most nights. Somewhere between the nights where I'm very gooood and the nights where I'm very, very bad, I'm averaging 6hrs of sleep a night. And i used to be a strict 9hrs/night gal.
Combine this with a very busy shift, and the result? Most afternoons as of 2pm (aka. my post-work daytime freetime, and the whole point of having this schedule...) I'm stupidly, deliriously exhausted.
I HATED this at first.
I LOVE it now.
It turns out, being realllllllllly tired is kinda like being stoned. The filter in my mind that levels my thought processes out, that blocks my most insane and bizarre thoughts from slipping into my consciousness, and that keeps me focused on the normal details of life - well, it's long gone to bed! So, I start noticing things I don't usually notice, in way's I dont usually notice them. I don't listen to music, I layer it over my world like some liquid medium and swim through it. I read books and poetry, and the world around me slips away like a petty distraction, leaving just me and the words and the world the words make. I stop tuning into all the mundane details about my actual world, I forget to be self conscious or self aware, and I suddenly have access to new realities.
So what if my body is tingling most of the time? so what if I break into laughter/tears at the drop of a pin? So what if my eyes are sinking deep into the pits of my face? I see things anew, and that is worth all the undereyecircle-coverup-makeup in the WORLD.
